Husband:"Hamari 10th Aniverasry par Me Tumhe ANDAMAN NIKOBAR ISLAND Le Jaaunga

Monday, 10 March 2014

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Husband:"Hamari 10th Aniverasry par Me Tumhe.
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ANDAMAN NIKOBAR ISLAND Le Jaaunga .
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Wife:"Wow.
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Aur 25th Aniversary Par.
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?? .
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Husband:"Tumhe Wapas Lene Aaunga.
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Ek baar ek hi colege ke kuch professors & principle ek saath aeroplane me baithe the , .
tabhi ek announcement hoti hai, ye plane aapke hi collage ke students ne banaya hai .
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sabhi professor plane se bhaag jate he mgr.
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Principle nhi bhaagta? sabhi log bolte he aapko darr nhi lagata? .
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principle-muze mere students par pura bharosa hai Plane start hi nhi hoga.
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Boy- Aaj accident hua,uff Marte- Marte bacha hu.
Dad- Tumhari hi galti hogi.
Maa- Beta thik to ho na? Sis- Bhai kahi chot to nahi aayi? Bro- Yaar dhayanse chalaya kar.
Lover- Tumhe mera Jara bhi khayal nahi.
& Frnd- ? ? Ohh shit yaar.
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TEHRVI ke Laddu Milte-Milte reh gaye.
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Moral-Dost hote hi kamine hai

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Girl: Is Dress Ka Kya Price Hai ? .
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 Kiss ;* .
Girl: Aur us dress ka? .
Shopkeepr: Sirf 10 Kiss ;-> .
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Girl: Dono Dress Pack Kar Do, BiLL papa Degi.
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Na back ki parwah, Na concept koi clear hain.
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Na job ki tension, na future ka fear hain.
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Table par books ki jagah kingfisher ki beer hain.
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C ya Java nahi chatting apna career hain.
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Yahan koi Einstien nahi, Yahan sab Shakespeare hain, Late night study ki jagah movies ke premier hain, Phir bhi yaaro hum future ke Engineer Hain

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Interviewer: Let me check ur english, tell me d opposite of good.
? Banta: Bad.
Interviewer: Come Banta: Go.
Interviewer: Ugly? Banta: Pichhlli.
Interviewer: PICHLLI Banta: UGLY.
Interviewer: Shut Up.
Banta: Keep talking.
Interviewer: Ok, now stop all dis Banta: Ok, now carry on all dis.
Interviewer: Abey, chup ho ja.
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chup ho ja.
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chup ho jaa.
Banta: Abey bolta ja.
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bolta ja.
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bolta ja.
Interviewer: Arey, yaar.
Banta: Arey dushman.
Interviewer: Get Out Banta: Come In.
Interviewer: Oh my God.
Banta: Oh, my devil.
Interviewer: shhhhhhh banta: Hurrrrrrrrrrrrr rr Interviewer: mere bap chup hoja banta: mere bete bolta reh Interviewer: U are rejected Banta: I m selected.
Oye Bolo ta ra ra ra ra hayo rabba!!

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Boy: I want 2 kiss u.
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Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
:@ .
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Boy: Allah tala ke fazalo karam sekhuda ka ye nek banda mohtarma ko arzu-e- fitrat se be- inteha chumna chahta hai.
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Girl Shock- Boys Rocks.
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Wife asked her husband to describe her.
Husband said, "you're A B C D EF G H I J K".
Wife asked, "what does that mean.
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?? The husband said," Adorable Beautiful Cute Delightful Elegant Fairly Gorgeous and Hot" She said, "oh, that's so lovely, what about I J K.
? He said, "I'm Just Kidding".
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:

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Garmi se bachne ka aasan tarika

Sunday, 9 March 2014

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Garmi se bachne ka aasan tarika . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Agar pata lag jaye to muje b batana Maa kasam bahot garmi lag rahi hai

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Wife called hubby in office .. Wife - window is not opening .. What shall I do ? Hubby - Put some hot water n wait for while. It will open ... Wife (lil unconvinced)- r u sure ? Hubby - ya trust me it will do the magic.. Try it .. (After a while hubby calls back to check) ... Did u do as I told u ! Did it do the needfull trick ? Wife - I don't kno about the trick or magic but NOW entire laptop is not starting

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A very very TRIPLE meaning Example of . . . . " HAR 1 FRIEND KAMINA HOTA HAI " Ladka dost se : yaar maine apni Girl Friend ko uski birthday pe apni behan ki new diamond ring chori ker k gift de di, Dost (Thappad maar kar) : kaminey Itni mehngi kharidi thi maine Ladka: saale marta kyun hai tere ghar hi to wapis gayi hai

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apni wife ko apne 100% kamai dene se . . . 10% sukh milta hai . . girl friend ko apni kamai ka . . . 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai . . . paisa apka faisla apka . . . Jago grahak jago.

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GIRLS POEM.. Husband hamara aisa ho.. pocket me jiske paisa ho.. . lambi jiski hight ho.. Gusse ka wo light ho.. Jab saas se meri fight ho, kahe jaanu tum hi RIGHT ho.

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Santa Bank me paise jama karane gaya. Cashier- Tumhare Note nakli hai. Santa- Tujhe kya farak padata hai? Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na.. =))

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Exams Life... 9am:"Wake-up .. 10am:"Breakfast .. 11am:"Thinking 2 score 80% .. 12am:"Watch TV .. 1pm:"Lunch .. 2pm:"Thodi neend le ke padhenge dimag set hoga .. .. 4pm:"Games .. 5pm:"Thinking 2 score 60% .. 6pm:"Troubling friends "kuch padha ?? .. 8pm:"Searching books. .. 9pm:"Dinner .. 10pm:"Lo bhai light gayi.. .. 11pm:"plz bhagwan! Bas pass kara de... .. 12pm:"Aaj to "Bhad Me Jaye Padhai" kal se pakka padhunga..

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1 ladki ki death ke Baad Uski friend uske boyfriend ke pass gayior boli, "Kya main uski jagah le skti hu......??" Superb Answer . . . . . BoyFrnd- "Muje koi Aitraz Nahi QABRISTAN Walo se puch lo

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After Valentines day - . . . GF = Where R u.? BF = I'm At "Bank" . . . GF = I Need 10,000 For New Cell Phone & 5,000 For New Dress. BF = Sorry, I Mean I'm At BL00D BANK. " KHOON PIYEGI KHOON.?"

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Super Funny Jokes Must Read

Saturday, 8 March 2014

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Mobile General Mode Pe Hona Chahiye.
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Silent Mode Pe To Apna "PM" Bhi Hai.
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Height of shakkk ! HusBand: Mein tumhare sath 1000 saal rahunga or dher sara pyaar karunga.
! .
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Biwi: Uske baaad kahan muh maarne ka iraada hai?

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Boy 1:" tune us ladki ke liye Cigarette chhor di.
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?? .
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Boy 2:" haan Boy 1:" daru bhi chhor diya.
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?? Boy 2:" haan! .
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Boy 1:" Jua bhi chhor diya.
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??? .
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Boy 2:" haan!! Boy 1:" abey to shaadi kyu nahi ki usse ???? .
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Boy 2:" yaar itna sudhar gya tha k usse achhi mil gyi aur usey chhor diya.
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MUSAFIR: Beta Aap Mujhe Thoda Sa Pani Pila Denge ?? Pappu: Agar Lassi Ho Jaye To.
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?? .
MUSAFIR: Tab To Bahut Hi Acha Hoga.
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Pappu:- lassi le aaya.
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Musafir Ne 5 Lote Lassi Peeney Ke Baad Pappu Se Pucha:- Kya Tumhare Ghar Me Koi Lassi Nai Peeta ?? .
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Pappu: Peetey To Sub Hain, Lekin Aaj Lassi Me CHUHA Gir Gaya Tha.
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aur usi me mar gya tha.
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Musafir Ne gusse me Lota Zamin Par De Mara .
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Pappu Rote Hue Bola:- "Mummy Inhone Lota Tod Diya.
Ab Hum TOILET mein kya lekar jayenge.
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How BEDROOM Smells After MARRIAGE: 1st 3 years:-- Perfumes, Flowers, Chocolate, Strawberry, Grapes.
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After 3 YRS:-- Baby Powder, Johnsons Cream & Lotions, Baby oils · · After 15YRS:-- Zandu Balm, Vicks, Iodex, Relispray….
· · After 40 YRS:-- Agarbatti.
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agree ????? then press like

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English Quiz Contest by his Terrific Reply.
Q: "What is the Opposite of 'BARCELONA'? .
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FEKU: 'ANDAR SE DO NA'!.
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A Father Took His Son To A Village To Teach About Poverty.
After The Trip He Asked His Son About The Poor.
Son Replied: We’ve 1 Dog, Villagers Had 4 We’ve Small Pool, They’ve Long River We’ve Lamps, They’ve Stars We’ve Small Piece Of Land, They’ve Large Fields We’ve Servants 2 Serve Us, They Serve Others We Buy Food, They Grow Their Food We’ve House To Protect Us, They’ve Friends The Boy’s Father Was Speechless.
Then His Son Said: “Thanks For Showing How Poor We Are.
“

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Amazing Jokes of the Day

Friday, 7 March 2014

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Sir :- Birbal Kaun Tha.
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?? Student :-"Pata Nahi Sir"Sir :- "Padhaai Par Dhyaan Doge ToNa Pata Chale".
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Student :-"Sir Pramod, Vicky, Gaurav Kaun Hai.
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?? .
Sir :-"Mujhe Kya Pata.
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Student :-"Beti Par Dhyaan Do To Pata Chale ?? Master Shocks Student Rock.


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Main bahut roya jab muje pata chala ki main 2 subject me fail ho gya .
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Par .
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Main bahut hsa jab muje pata chala ki mera dost 4 subject me fail ho gya.
Dukh me hamesha dost hi to kaam aata hai.


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Husband: Tere baap ki jale per namak chhidkne ki adat gai nai .
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wife: kyo kya huwa .
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Husband: aaj phir se puch raha tha, k Meri beti se shadi karke khush to ho na

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Flight me Pilot ne announce kia : 'Hum ek ghante me land karne wale hain.
' .
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Fir wo mic band karna bhool gaya aur co-pilot se bola : 'Ab to bas ek garam chai piyunga, fir Air Hostess ki Pappi lunga.
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Air Hostess ye sun kar mic band karwane ke liye bhaagi, aur 1 bachche k pair me fas kar gir gayi.
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Bachcha bola : 'Tujhe badi jaldi hai Kamini.
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suna nahi ? Woh pehle chai piyega.
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!!!

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Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya.
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Ladki pasand aane par ladke ne ladki se kaha "tum toh mujhe pasand ho.
par kya tumhare baap ki hesiyat hai mujhe car dene ki? .
.
Iss par ladki ne solid jawab diya- .
Ladki : -"mere baap ki hesiyat toh aeroplane dene ki hai.
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Par kya tere baap ki hesiyat hai Airport banane ki? dowry is crime

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2 Kism Ki Ladkiyon Ke Peeche Na Bhago.
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1 - Jis Ke Peeche Main Hoon Kyunki Wo Tumse Set Nahin Hogi.
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2 - Jis Ke Peeche Main Nahin hoon Kyunki Jo Mujhse Set Nahin Hui.
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Wo Tum Se Kya GHANTA Hogi

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Girl.
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Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.
I am in India and he lives in UK.
We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, proposed to each other on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship thru viber.
I need ur blessing and good wishes daddy.
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Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun online.
Buy ur kids on e-bay, send them thru g-mail and if u r fed up with your husband.
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Sell him on OLX.
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Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya, usne English mein baat karne ki sochi aur bola

Thursday, 6 March 2014

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Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya, usne English mein baat karne ki sochi aur bola: English chalegi na? .
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Ladki sharmate hue: soda,namkeen aur leg piece sath me ho to DESI bhi chalegi.
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If you are a girl named Khushi and you cry, people won't take it seriously as that would be 'Khushi ke aansoo' #

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If Sridevi is running a shop, I wonder whether she would say "Abhi Boney ka time hai.
"

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I love it when my Sony smartphone hangs and gives me Problems.
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Because, Sony de Nakhre sohne lagde menu.


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Cricket team k jab sab player out ho jate h toh sab machaar bhaag jate hain Sochoo KYUKI team "allout" hain naa.


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now Don't kill me for this joke.
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One day Om came late to office.
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All started shouting.
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Omlette aaya.
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Ekbaar bhagwan ne aadmi ki Memory clear kar dali.
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!! Aur poocha, kuch yaad aa raha hai kya? Aadmi- sirf GF ka naam.
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!! bhagwan hasa aur bola.
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Format kiya par virus nahi gaya.
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!!

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Hostel student to his frnd:- "yaar dhoka ho gya Dhoka" .
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Frnd:- kya ho gaya.
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?? .
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Student:- "yar ghar se books k liye paise mangwaye the, .
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gharwalo ne books he bhej di.
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Phone Baja… Husband: Agar Phone mere liye ho to kehna main ghar pe nahi hu.
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Wife: Woh ghar pe hain.
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Husband: Mene mana kiya tha na, mana kar dena.
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Wife: Phone aapka nahi mera tha…:p Samajh me aa gya ho to Like karo

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‘I Love You’ ka khatarnak reply

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Shaadi-shuda Aurto ka seminar chal raha tha.
Unse puchha gaya,
Aapne apne Husband
ko
‘I Love You’
last kab bola hai?
Kisi ne kaha aaj,
kisi ne kaha 2 din pehle
Aur
Kisi ne kaha 10 din pehle.
Fir unse kaha gaya k sab Patniya apne pati ko Mobile se
‘I Love You’ Message karo abhi,
Jiska sabse accha reply aayega usay
Surprise Gift
Milega…
Sab wives ne ‘I Love You’ msg kar diya aur
.
Kuchh der baad Husbands k Reply kuchh iss tarah aaye…
1) Darling, tumhari tabiyat to theek hai na?
2) Ghar kharcha khatam ho gaya hai kya ???
3) Kahin tum Maiyke to nahin chali gayi ???
4) Aaj ghar pe khana nahin bana hai kya ???
5) Kya Matlab ???
6) Tum Sapne mein ho ya main sapna dekh raha hoon?
7) Kity party mein kisi ki Jewellery pasand aa gayi hai kya???
8) Office mein itna tension hai aur tujhe Romance sujh raha hai ???
9) Kitni baar mana kiya Serial mat dekha kar..!!
10) Aaj fir gaadi thok-ke aayi kya????
Finally jisko Surprise Gift
Mila uska khatarnak reply ye tha....
.
. . .



11) Kaun ???

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Jokes that are trending now

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

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Boy: Marry me smile.
png Girl: Are you mad? grin.
png Boy: Is that a criteria?

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Aisi kaunsi cheez hai jise jitna bhi kha lo, hazma kharab nahin hota? .
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Dhokha.


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A software engineer was smoking.
A lady standing nearby said to him can't you see the Warning, Smoking is injurious to health.
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He replied "We are bothered only about Errors, not Warnings !!"

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2 Lovers Ne Suicide Ki Planing Ki.
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Boy Jumped 1st, Girl Close Her Eyes & Returnd.
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Boy In Air Opened Parashute& Said Mujhe Pata Tha Chudail Tu Nahi Kudegi.
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From that day onwards people started saying LADIES FIRST.
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Wife aur husband shop se nikle to ek faqeer ne kaha-.
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Ae Husn ki Mallika ! 5 Rupay de de.
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Andha hoon.
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Husband ne wife ki taraf dekha aur bola : "De de.
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Wakai andha ha.
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!

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I thought of making Anupam Kher joke, but kher jaane do.


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When someone stands behind you when you're on computer, - Open up Google.
- Type: "How to kill the person standing behind me?

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Hum log time pass karte rahe aur .
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woh hamare time ke badle $19 billion bana gaya !!

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A Survey in Europe 50% Teenagers live with their parents .
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Rest 50% Teen Agers .
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are already PARENTS!!!

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Keep Laughing

Monday, 3 March 2014

A girl instantly becomes 500% less attractive the moment you realize that she has a boyfriend

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When i am not able to decide between 'aap' and 'tu', I automatically switch to English

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Ek Raaz Jo Sabko Nahi Pata… .
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Wo Ye Hai Ki.
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Titanic Ki Puri Shooting Rajnikant Ke BATH TUB Mein Hui Thi.


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Arz kia hai.
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ye auratein badi chaalaak hoti hai.
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Ye auratein badi chaalaak hoti hai.
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Apni profile pic mai akeli.
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Aur pati ki profile pic mai saath hoti hai

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She: "Did You Watch # Highway ?"
He: "Yeah"

She: "How Is It?"
He: "NH 1 Is Best, NH 7 Is Oki, SH 14 Needs
Repairs, NH 39 Is Awesome During Rain!" "What You Asked About National & State Highways, Right Na!"

*Blocked Forever*

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Difference between Husband Wife's chat on FB & Whatsapp.
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On "WhatsApp":
---------------- Wife: ghar kab aa rahe ho.
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Husband: pata nahi dimag mat khao.
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On "FB wall":
------------- Wife: Dear when will u be back.
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you are the best Husband in the world.
Aww i miss you so much.
Come back soon.
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Husband: Thanks for being there always.
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So lucky to have a wonderful Wife like you…

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Teacher: Pappu batao, yeh sign (%) tumne kaha dekha.
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Awsme answer by Pappu: Teacher ji, jab car me ladkiya sit belt pehnti hain

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Aurate 3 prakaar ki hoti hain.
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Ek jiske bina aap reh nahi sakte.
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Dusari jo aapke bina reh nahi sakti.
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& Tisari.
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jiske saath aap rehate ho

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Things to Learn From SRK Movies

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Kuch Kuch hota hai: DOST SE PYAAR

Mohabattein: PRINCIPAL KI BETI SE PYAAR..

Kal ho na ho: PADOSI KI BETI SE PYAAR

Kabhi khushi Kabhi gum: NAUKAR KI BETI SE PYAAR

Kabhi Alvida na Kehna: ..DUSARO KI BIWI SE PYAAR

Baazigar: DUSHMAN KI BETI SE PYAAR

Pardes: ..DOST KI MANGETAR SE PYAAR

Dil se: TERRORIST SE PYAAR

Mai Hoon na: TEACHER SE PYAAR

Veer Zaara : Hindu hoke Muslim ladki se pyar, woh bhi Pakistani

Chennai Express : DON KI BETI SE PYAAR..

Note - SRK teaches us how to manage risky love affairs..!!!







arre haa, risky se yaad aaya,



The most risky love is...





Rab ne bana di jodi: KHUD KI biwi se pyaar ..

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POEM FOR WORKING PEOPLE..

Saturday, 1 March 2014

POEM FOR WORKING PEOPLE..

Johnny Johnny…… 😊YES PAPA..
Job in Mumbai…….YES PAPA..
Lots of Tension…..YES PAPA..
Too Much Work…...YES PAPA..
Family Life………...NO PAPA..
BP-Sugar………..HIGH PAPA..
Yearly Bonus......JOKE PAPA..
Annual Pay…..LOW PAPA..
Personal Life....LOST PAPA..
Promotion Incentive…...Haa.. 😀 Haa.. Haa...

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A Gujrati opened a clinic & wrote outside the clinic

Monday, 10 February 2014

A Gujrati opened a clinic & wrote outside the clinic: Any treatment in Rs.
100 & if we cant treat, will pay back you Rs.
200.
A Pathan comes to do fraud & get 200.
He says to the Doctor: I cant feel any taste on my tongue.
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Doctor asks the Nurse to put few drops of medicine from box no 22.
After that the Pathan shouts: Oh my God its very Bitter The doctor says congratulations your sense of taste is back now.
The Pathan was angry as he lost Rs.
100.
After 2 weeks Pathan comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his prevoius 100 too.
Pathan: Doctor i have lost my memory.
Doctor: Nurse! pls put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue.
Pathan: Wait doctor but that medicine is for sense of taste.
Doctor: Congratulations your memory is back.
Moral: Never think to cheat a Gujrati.

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Angry Husband sends SMS to his mother-in-law

Sunday, 9 February 2014

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Angry Husband sends SMS to his mother-in-law "Your product not cooking food properly" Smart Mother-in-law replied "Product sold, Seal opened, Warranty expired, Manufacturer not responsible"

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Ladies driving:D Doctor to injured patient : Jab car ek lady chala rahi thi to tumhe road se dur chalna chahiye tha na? Patient: Kaun sa road ? Main to Garden mein leta hua tha.
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!=))

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Teacher: ‘A’ for? Student: Apple!!! Teacher: Jor se bolo… Student: JAI MATA DI!!!

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Pappu : sir meri patni mere saath baahar jaana chaahti hai.
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chhutti chahiye.
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Boss : chhutti nahin milegi .
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Pappu : thank u so much sir ji.
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mai jaanta tha musibat ke waqt aap hi kaam aayenge.
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Beta: "mummy kya love marriage karne se ghar wale naraaz hote hain? Maa: "tu pakka kisi churail ke chakkar mein hoga or yeh sab tujhe usi daayan ne kaha hoga, larkiyan to bus larkon ko fasane mein hi lagi rehti hain, jahan acha larka dekha shuru ho gayin, beta inse bach k rehna yeh bohat dhokebaaz hoti hain aur inka to khandan bhi.
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Beta: "aisa kuch nahi hai woh to daddy bata rahe the ki aap dono ki love marriage thi

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Girls will be girls!!!

Saturday, 8 February 2014

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Girls will be girls!!! Gf giving house directions 2 her Bf:- Gf: Come to the front gate of my apartment where you drop me, look for flat 9A, you'll find a lift on ur right, hit 9 with ur ELBOW.
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get out of the lift, u'll find my flat on left.
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hit the doorbell wid ur ELBOW & I'll get to the door 4u.
Bf: Dear that seems easy but why am I hitting buttons with my elbows? Gf: "OMG! Are you coming empty handed ???"  Bf: :s (speechless)

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5 most undefined things of Girls: 1) "Tum na bahut wo ho" (now what the hell is 'wo') 2) "Mjhe tumse ye umeed nhi thi.
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" (No one will ever know what was their 'Umeed') 3) "Tum pehle jaise nahi rahe" (They will themself change u as time passes and then throw this dialog) 4) "Sach batana, mai kaisi lag rahi hoon" (Do they really mean 'sach batana'?) 5) "I am very selfish na.
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" (& they want you 2 say no dear u r not)

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NARAD SAYS TO ALL WIVES : if ur husband sends u romantic msgs then be very happy, but think who is sending those msgs to ur husband ? my job is over .
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narayan narayan

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Raat Ke 3 Baje Santa Ke Number Par Phone Aaya: Hello Yaha Sony Mehfooz Rehti Hai Kya? Bittoo : Kutte Itni Raat Ko Sony Mere Paas Hoti To Mehfooz Rehti Kya?=))

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She texted me: "your adorable.
" I replied: "no, YOU'RE adorable.
" Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her bad grammar

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"Naari" Ka Matlab Kya Hai?

Friday, 7 February 2014

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Wife : "Naari" Ka Matlab Kya Hai? Husband : Naari Ka Matlab Hai Shakti.
Wife : To Phir Purush Ka Matlab Kya Hai? Husband : 'Sahan Shakti

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Universally True :- The only 3 persons whom a woman listens carefully & follows Sincerely & does EXACTLY as he says is a.
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TAILOR, PHOTOGRAPHER & BEAUTICIANS Baki to woh kisi k baap ki bhi nahi sunti.


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Kaccha papad Pakka papad To koi bhi bol leta hai.
Ab ye try karo.
Ye line fast bolke dikhao to jane.
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""A good cook could cook good"" gudgudgud kar ke Haso mat bolo bolo try it.


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A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan "tuunnn.
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" �� HUSBND: What was that for? �� WIFE: I found a paper in ur pocket with the name JENNY on it.
�� HUSBAND: I took part in a RACE last week & JENNY was the name of my HORSE.
�� WIFE: Sorry! �� Next day wife hit him with the frying pan AGAIN! "tuunnn.
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" �� HUSBND: why did u hit me again? �� WIFE: Ur Horse is on the phone��

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What's Marriage?

Thursday, 6 February 2014

What's Marriage? Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense Of Humans That Destroys All The Six Senses And Makes The Person NON Sense.
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! Definition Of Happy Couple - HE Does What SHE Wants… SHE Does What SHE Wants.
Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.
Husband: Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband.
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!! 'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life.
" -Shakespear "Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes,Can Shorten ur Life.
" -Shakespear's Wife Arz kiya hai.
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Jaldbaazi mein shadi karke sara jivan bigad loge, wah wah wah Jaldbazi mein shadi karke sara jivan bigad loge.
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Soch samaj ke karoge toh bhi kya ukhad loge.
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!! ���������������� A Husband asked God : Why my wife loves a rose which dies in a day .
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But doesn't love me who dies for her every day.
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!!? God replied : Mast hai !! WHATSAPP pe daal.
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!! ������

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Aapko kaisa lagega agar neend me aapka haath

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

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Ek dum latest.
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✈✈✈✈✈✈ ��Air hostes to Pandit: Sir,kya lenge? ��Pandit-Puri,sabji,khir aur laddu.
��Air hostess-Sir,aap kingfisher k plane me baithe h, Vijay malya k shraadh me nahi.
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Mom to Children :- Jo meri baat maanega aur muze ulta jawab nahi dega, usko main Gift dungi Children :- Lo kar lo baat is tarah to saare gift Papa hi le jaayenge .
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Ek Sharabi full set ho ke ghar jaa raha tha.
Raaste me mandir ke bahar pujari dikha,, Sharabi ne Pujari se pucha.
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"Sabse bada kaun.
?" Us se picha Chudane k liye Pujari ne kaha ye Mandir bada.
Sharabi: Mandir bada to Dharti pe kaise khada.
? Pujari: Achchha to Dharti badi.
Sharabi: Dharti badi to Sheshnaag pe kyo khadi.
? Pujari: To Sheshnaag bada.
Sharabi: Sheshnaag bada to Shiv k gale me kyo pada.
? Pujari: To Shiv bada.
Sharabi: Shiv bada to Parvat pe kyo khada.
? Pujari: Tab to Parvat bada.
Sharabi: Parvat bada to Hanuman ki ungli pe kyu pada.
? Pujari: Aarre mere baap Hanuman bada.
Sharabi: Hanuman bada to Ram k charno me kyo pada.
? Pujari sar peet k bola: Ram bada.
Sharabi: Ram bada to Sita k piche kyo pada.
? Pujari: Arre mere baap to tu hi bata kaun bada.
? Sharabi: "Is duniya me sirf woh bada jo poori Baatli peeke aapni Tango par khada.
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������ My Boss installed Whatsapp and texted me ' Oye Joke Bhej.
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!' I replied' sir abhi me kaam kar raha hoon, aftr some time---' Boss Replies: Mast tha !! Aur bhej !:)

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Aapko kaisa lagega agar neend me aapka haath bister se bahar nikle aur bed k niche se koi use pakad le.
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Ya aap karwat badle aur dekhe ki aap k pero ke pass koi betha hai.
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Ya aapki chadar apne aap sarakne lage.
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Ya aap bich raat me aankhe khole aur dekhe ki fan se koi aapko dekh raha hai.
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Ya aap pani pine uthe aur khidki k bahar se budhiya bole, "ek glass mere liye b le aana.
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" Khair jane do in baaton ko, Maine to GOOD NIGHT kehne k liye message kiya tha.
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Girfriend and boyfriend on phone

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

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Romantic line of SMALL kid aftr breakup .
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Me tumhe bulne ki bahut kochich kalta hu .
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pal kya kalu .
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mumy loz BADAM khila deti he , aul tumali yad fil aa jati hai

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Santa Class Me Hans Raha Tha 1 Ladki Boli STaNd UP Kaun Ho Tum ?? .
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Santa :- Tum Kaun Ho ? .
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Ladki :- Mai MONITOR Hun !! .
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Santa :- Ha.
ha.
ha.
ha.
ha.
Tere Din Gaye Pagali Ab Laptop Aur LCD Ka Zamana Hai .
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GF: Mujhe aisi jagah le chalo jaha koi na ho.
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BF: chalo Rahul Gandhi ki rally me chalte hain.


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Neil Armstrong landed on moon & found 2 men already there.
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He asked: "Who are you ?? .
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They replied : " Cameraman Praful k sath Deepak Chaurasia KAL TAK.
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Girfriend and boyfriend on phone: Boy: Hi, kaisi ho jaan? Girl Theek hun.
Boy: Aaj kya khaya dinner mein? Girl: Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna.
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Boy: Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets? Girl: hmmmm.
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daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha.
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Funny SMS of the Day

Monday, 3 February 2014

Ramesh aur Suresh ka interview tha First Ramesh went for the interview Q: Taleem? Ans: B.
A.
Q: INDIA kab Azaad hua? Ans: koshish pehle se chal rhi thi par 1947 Q: AMERICA ka pm kaun hai? Ans: bahut aaye aur gaye lekin ab OBAMA hai SURESH ye sab sun raha tha usne teeno answers yaad kar liye 1- B.
A.
2- 1947 3- Obama ab SURESH interview dene pahuncha Q: Naam? Ans: B.
A.
Q: Kab paidaa hue? Ans: koshish bahit jari thi par 1947 Q: Baap ka naam? Ans: waise to kitne aaye aur gaye lekin ab obama hai!! #Toufique karimkhan

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2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile

Sardars Funny SMS

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile.
1st Sardar: Chal police ko de ke aate he.
2nd sardar: Agar koi bomb raste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: Jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha.
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Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyo hass rahe ho?
Sardar: Mai to uthta hi subah 9 baje hu!
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Sardar to Doctor: Mujhe 1 problem he.
Dr: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: Aisa kab hota he? Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
Man: Sardarji aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC ke paas ja ke baith jata hu.
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C 'on' kar leta hu.
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A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade." After 11 years an angry Vahe Guru appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le!"
Ek sardar ki chhatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega?!
Hitler: "There's no word like
IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary."
Sardar: Ab bolne se kya faayda? Jab kharidi thi tab check karna tha!
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Wife Taaro Ko Dekh Kar Boli :-
'Wo Konsi Cheez Hai,,
Jo Tum Roj Dekh Sakte Ho,, Par Laa Nahi Sakte..??
Husband::- Padosan.!!!
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A Sardar was caught by police for killing 20 people in rash driving...
Police: How did u kill 20 people..?
Sardar: Me gaadi tez chala raha tha par jab mene brake lagaya, to pata chala ke brake fail ho gaya hai.. fir me saamne dekha to 2 aadmi ja rahe the & dusri taraf 1 barat ja rahi thi..Ab tum batao me gaadi kidhr modta..?
Police: Ofcourse, jis taraf 2 admi the..nuksaan kam hota..
Sardar: Exactly...mene bhi yhi socha tha par wo 2 admi meri gaadi dekhkr barat me ghus gaye..
Ultimate Hit!!
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Sardar ka interview: Batao wo kaun si Aurat hain jisko 1OO% pata hota hain ki uska Husband kaha hain?
Sardar ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya or bola
. "Vidhwa Aurat....

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First Class Jokes

Sunday, 2 February 2014

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Bapu was filling a slam book He did not know d meaning of zodiac sign.
He turned the previous page and saw that somebody had written cancer .
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Bapu wrote:- .
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KABAJIYAT!�

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Padosi: Yaar tere ghar se roz hansi ki awaz aati hai Is khush haal zindagi ka raaz kya hai? Aadmi: Meri Biwi mujhe jooton se maarti hai, Lag jaay to wo hansti hai, Na Lage to main hansta hoon.
KHUDA ka shukar hai, hansi khushi zindagi guzar rahi hai.


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Why are boys So CarelesS & Irresponsible.
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BecauSe ! They Know that Some where, A Sweet & Innocent girl is learning to be responsible For them.
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!

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Banta - Gajni mai amir ne itni solid body kaise banaye hogi? .
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Santa : jab wo gym se wapas aata tha to 15 mint k baad bhul jata tha ki gym gya tha aur phir waps gym chala jata tha.
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Aise karte karte body ban gayi.
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!

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Who was the 1st Indian cricketer to Become captain in his 1st match, score century in the same match & hit a 6 of the last ball 2 defeat England?.
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Socho.
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Nai pata?.
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Mai batau??.
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AAMIR KHAN in LAGAAN

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