Showing posts with label Whatsapp Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Whatsapp Jokes. Show all posts
Happy Women's Week
Thursday, 6 March 2014
Hi, did u get da bag I left in front of ur door? Couldn't cum in, I was in a hurry. It was a bag full of prayers, hugs, smiles, luv & care.
Being a woman is a blessing from God.
We women are strong,and are not so easily broken by circumstances of life.u cry in your hearts Yet u retain beautiful smiles on your facesu are over comers There's no situation that u can not handle People hate u . .Men leave u. . .But u still remain strong and more beautiful u are like roses that stay red forever, that will never dry.So come on Ladies, celebrate this week..... The world is urs,
Cheers
Send this to all your favourite Girls
Happy women's week
A lot of men think they are doing women a favour by asking for her hand in marriage, but lets think about this :
she changes her name,
changes her home,
leaves her family,
moves in with you,
builds a home with you,
gets pregnant for you,
pregnancy changes her body,
she gets fat,
almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pains of child birth,
even the kids she delivers bear your name.
Till the day she dies...
everything she does, (cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.....sometimes at the cost of her own health , hobbies and beauty.
so who is really doing whom a favour?
Dear men appreciate the women in your lives always, coz it is not easy to be a woman.
*Being a woman is priceless * .
Happy womens week.
Rock the world ladies.
Being a woman is a blessing from God.
We women are strong,and are not so easily broken by circumstances of life.u cry in your hearts Yet u retain beautiful smiles on your facesu are over comers There's no situation that u can not handle People hate u . .Men leave u. . .But u still remain strong and more beautiful u are like roses that stay red forever, that will never dry.So come on Ladies, celebrate this week..... The world is urs,
Cheers
Send this to all your favourite Girls
Happy women's week
A lot of men think they are doing women a favour by asking for her hand in marriage, but lets think about this :
she changes her name,
changes her home,
leaves her family,
moves in with you,
builds a home with you,
gets pregnant for you,
pregnancy changes her body,
she gets fat,
almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pains of child birth,
even the kids she delivers bear your name.
Till the day she dies...
everything she does, (cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.....sometimes at the cost of her own health , hobbies and beauty.
so who is really doing whom a favour?
Dear men appreciate the women in your lives always, coz it is not easy to be a woman.
*Being a woman is priceless * .
Happy womens week.
Rock the world ladies.
Whatsapp Jokes
Sunday, 2 March 2014
Exam was going on in a hall
Everyone was going to fail
Supervising teacher was strict nd was roaming throughout the hall
No one could copy
Banta wrote something on a paper nd gave it 2 d teacher
D teacher sat on d chair in 1 corner nd did not get up
Everyone copied nicely
After exam Santa asked Banta dat what did he write on d paper
Banta said, " aapki salwar piche se fati hui hai" For the first time presenting intelligent Banta @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Joke@@@@@@@@@@@@ Santa ki wife bacche ki potty test karwane gayi
Dr : Yeh potty nahi halwa hai
Biwi- Ek phone karlu?? Dr : Kyun? Biwi : Unko batana hai ki potty unke tiffin me chali gayi hai
!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Joke@@@@@@@@@@@@ A Rabbit 🐇🐇Runs,Jumps & Lives Only For 15 yrs
While a Turtle 🐢Doesn't Run Does Nothing
Yet lives for 300 yrs
Moral: Exercise Is Hell Just Sleep Well
;) Baba Aaramdev Guudd wali sweet mng
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Joke@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Sindhi full baarish mei ek Doctor ke paas gaya: Wadi saiin
ghar parr check-u p ki kya fees hai ? Doctor: 300/- Sindhi : Phir jaldi chalo Dr
Sahab
Doctor ne car nikali aur dono sindhi ke ghar pahuch gaye
Doc: Mareez kahan hai ? Sindhi : Mareez-wareez koi nahin hai baba
Muwaa taxi-wala ghar tak jaane ke 500/- maang raha tha, aap 300/- mein le aaye
Sindhi rocks, Doctor shocked
😟😆 THE WORLD OF SINDHI
PLS FRWD SINDHIS
Everyone was going to fail
Supervising teacher was strict nd was roaming throughout the hall
No one could copy
Banta wrote something on a paper nd gave it 2 d teacher
D teacher sat on d chair in 1 corner nd did not get up
Everyone copied nicely
After exam Santa asked Banta dat what did he write on d paper
Banta said, " aapki salwar piche se fati hui hai" For the first time presenting intelligent Banta @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Joke@@@@@@@@@@@@ Santa ki wife bacche ki potty test karwane gayi
Dr : Yeh potty nahi halwa hai
Biwi- Ek phone karlu?? Dr : Kyun? Biwi : Unko batana hai ki potty unke tiffin me chali gayi hai
!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Joke@@@@@@@@@@@@ A Rabbit 🐇🐇Runs,Jumps & Lives Only For 15 yrs
While a Turtle 🐢Doesn't Run Does Nothing
Yet lives for 300 yrs
Moral: Exercise Is Hell Just Sleep Well
;) Baba Aaramdev Guudd wali sweet mng
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Joke@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Sindhi full baarish mei ek Doctor ke paas gaya: Wadi saiin
ghar parr check-u p ki kya fees hai ? Doctor: 300/- Sindhi : Phir jaldi chalo Dr
Sahab
Doctor ne car nikali aur dono sindhi ke ghar pahuch gaye
Doc: Mareez kahan hai ? Sindhi : Mareez-wareez koi nahin hai baba
Muwaa taxi-wala ghar tak jaane ke 500/- maang raha tha, aap 300/- mein le aaye
Sindhi rocks, Doctor shocked
😟😆 THE WORLD OF SINDHI
PLS FRWD SINDHIS
What a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, salon and wine
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman replied
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked
"No, I don't waste time shopping", the homeless woman said
"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive
" "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?", the woman asked
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman
"I hvnt had my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money
Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight
The homeless woman was astounded
"Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting
" The woman replied, "That's okay
It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, salon and wine
"
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago", the homeless woman replied
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked
"No, I don't waste time shopping", the homeless woman said
"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive
" "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?", the woman asked
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman
"I hvnt had my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money
Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight
The homeless woman was astounded
"Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting
" The woman replied, "That's okay
It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, salon and wine
"
Aaj pagal day he
Aaj pagal day he
Apki nazar me jo pagal he use ye sms bhejo,
mene to bhej deya he
Wapas muje bhej kr maha pagalo wali harkat mat ktrna ok
Paglo ki 4 nishaniya
1-RIGHT hand me mobile pakdna..
2-Anguthe se screen touch karna
3-Msg padh kar muskurana
4-Phir sochna kisko send karu
Ye Sms jis Khoobsurat Insan ko
milta hai.
Wo 5 second baad Behosh ho
jaata hai..
(^_^)
00:01
(“_”)
00:02
(+_+)
00:03
(‘_”)
00:04
(*_*)
00:05
Nahi huye?
Khoobsurat hote to behosh ho jate..
Mujhe to bohat mushkil se
hosh aaya tha, uff..!!
fwd to all ur pagal frnds
Apki nazar me jo pagal he use ye sms bhejo,
mene to bhej deya he
Wapas muje bhej kr maha pagalo wali harkat mat ktrna ok
Paglo ki 4 nishaniya
1-RIGHT hand me mobile pakdna..
2-Anguthe se screen touch karna
3-Msg padh kar muskurana
4-Phir sochna kisko send karu
Ye Sms jis Khoobsurat Insan ko
milta hai.
Wo 5 second baad Behosh ho
jaata hai..
(^_^)
00:01
(“_”)
00:02
(+_+)
00:03
(‘_”)
00:04
(*_*)
00:05
Nahi huye?
Khoobsurat hote to behosh ho jate..
Mujhe to bohat mushkil se
hosh aaya tha, uff..!!
fwd to all ur pagal frnds
MEN's Depression and WOMEN's Depression
MEN's Depression
- Business Slow Chal raha hai..
- Payment Time pe nahin aa rahi hai..
- Telephone/Light ka bill bharna hai..
- Gharwali ko Anniversary pe Gold leke dena hai..
- Family ki baaki demands bhi poori karni hai...
WOMEN's Depression
- Tailor se dress mangwana hai..
- Tv pe jo Loreal ki nayi Lipstick dikhayi hai, Aaj sham Market mein Uski enquiry karni hai..
- Kitty frnds ko apni nayi Fossil watch dikhani hai..
- Mall mein 50% Off Sale lagi hui hai, shopping ko jaana hai..
- Bachcho ka Open Day hai... Uffff koi dress he nahin samajh mein aa rahi hai..
- Nanad se phone pe baat karni hai..
- Tupperware wali ko aaj ghar pe bulana hai..
- Bete ki result aayi hai(46%), kaamwali baii ke liye ek kilo mix mithai mangani hai..
- Aaj na jaane Pankhudi ka kya hoga..
- Raat ko baahar se kya mangaoon khane ke liye..
- Ye mobile ki battery bhi jaldi jaldi down ho jaati hai, main kisi se zyada baat bhi nahin karti..
- Yeh Landline ka bill 2560/- kyun aaya hoga?
- Ye Deepika/Aalia/Kareena/Katrina itni over acting kyun karti hain?
- Kal mandir kya pehenke jaoongi?
- Profile Pic. change kiye 15 minute ho gaye hain.....abhi tak ek bhi like ya comment kyun nhi aaya hai.
- Business Slow Chal raha hai..
- Payment Time pe nahin aa rahi hai..
- Telephone/Light ka bill bharna hai..
- Gharwali ko Anniversary pe Gold leke dena hai..
- Family ki baaki demands bhi poori karni hai...
WOMEN's Depression
- Tailor se dress mangwana hai..
- Tv pe jo Loreal ki nayi Lipstick dikhayi hai, Aaj sham Market mein Uski enquiry karni hai..
- Kitty frnds ko apni nayi Fossil watch dikhani hai..
- Mall mein 50% Off Sale lagi hui hai, shopping ko jaana hai..
- Bachcho ka Open Day hai... Uffff koi dress he nahin samajh mein aa rahi hai..
- Nanad se phone pe baat karni hai..
- Tupperware wali ko aaj ghar pe bulana hai..
- Bete ki result aayi hai(46%), kaamwali baii ke liye ek kilo mix mithai mangani hai..
- Aaj na jaane Pankhudi ka kya hoga..
- Raat ko baahar se kya mangaoon khane ke liye..
- Ye mobile ki battery bhi jaldi jaldi down ho jaati hai, main kisi se zyada baat bhi nahin karti..
- Yeh Landline ka bill 2560/- kyun aaya hoga?
- Ye Deepika/Aalia/Kareena/Katrina itni over acting kyun karti hain?
- Kal mandir kya pehenke jaoongi?
- Profile Pic. change kiye 15 minute ho gaye hain.....abhi tak ek bhi like ya comment kyun nhi aaya hai.
My Boss installed WhatsApp
Saturday, 1 March 2014
My Boss installed WhatsApp and texted me
'Oye Joke Bhej...!'
I replied 'sir pehle batao increment kab hoga?---'
Boss Replies: 'Mast tha !!
Aur bhej..
'Oye Joke Bhej...!'
I replied 'sir pehle batao increment kab hoga?---'
Boss Replies: 'Mast tha !!
Aur bhej..
Bhagwan shocked Sharabi Rocked
Dedicated to all drinkers...!
Bhakt-
He bhagwan, kya aap meri sharaab chhudwa sakte ho
Bhagwan - Kyon nahi beta...
Bhakt- To meri 12 botal scotch Ludhiana police ne japt ki hai, wo chhudwa do.!!
Bhagwan shocked
Sharabi Rocked
Bhakt-
He bhagwan, kya aap meri sharaab chhudwa sakte ho
Bhagwan - Kyon nahi beta...
Bhakt- To meri 12 botal scotch Ludhiana police ne japt ki hai, wo chhudwa do.!!
Bhagwan shocked
Sharabi Rocked
Jivan Me 3 Baat Kisi Ko Nahi Batani.
Jivan Me 3 Baat Kisi Ko Nahi Batani.
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1) 2) 3) Nahi Batani Matlab Nahi Batani.
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Kisi Ko Bhi Nahi
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1) 2) 3) Nahi Batani Matlab Nahi Batani.
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Kisi Ko Bhi Nahi
Indians have 2 options in coming elections
Indians have 2 options in the coming election to choose from :
This image is uploaded for fun and is not against any individual or party.
The approval you want depends on the way u ask for it
Thursday, 30 January 2014
Jack and Max are walking to the church, to pray.
Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I smoke while I pray?”
The Priest replies, “No, my son, you may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke?”
To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.”
Moral of the story: The approval you want depends on the way you ask for it.
Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I smoke while I pray?”
The Priest replies, “No, my son, you may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke?”
To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.”
Moral of the story: The approval you want depends on the way you ask for it.
What Doctor Said
Sunday, 26 January 2014
What Doctor Said
When Bobby Darling was born, Doctor said "Mubarak ho, Dhokha hua hai"
When Ekta Kapoor was born, doctor said "Mubarak ho. Mubarak ho. Mubarak ho. Kon hua jaanne ke liye dekhiye agla episode".
When Manmohan Singh was born, Sholay was playing on the hospital TV, and AK Hangal said....."Itna sannata kyun hai bhai?".
When prabhudeva was born, the doctor said "Thoda bachcha hilna band karega toh check karke batate hain".
When Arnab Goswami was Born - Before Doctors could say anything, Arnab Said "C'mon Tell me... How you pulled me. Nation wants to know That".
When Kangana Ranawat was born the doctors said, "Mubalak ho ek totali beautiful girl hui hai".
When Rahul Gandhi was born, Doctor said, " Mubarak ho, aapke sath majaak hua hai".
When Daya was born - Doctors ran away to open all the doors of hospital.
When Tusshar Kapoor was born, the doctor said to Jeetendra......"Maaf kar dijiye. Galti ho gayi.
When Mayavati was born doctor said mubarak ho Hathi hua hain.
When Nargis Fahkri was born doctor said "mubaraq ho Duck ki behen Hui hai.
When Harman Baweja was born doctors said, Hrithik hua hai.
when Sharad Pawar was born,"Mubarak ho scam hua hai! Jaanch jaari hai!".
When Bobby Darling was born, Doctor said "Mubarak ho, Dhokha hua hai"
When Ekta Kapoor was born, doctor said "Mubarak ho. Mubarak ho. Mubarak ho. Kon hua jaanne ke liye dekhiye agla episode".
When Manmohan Singh was born, Sholay was playing on the hospital TV, and AK Hangal said....."Itna sannata kyun hai bhai?".
When prabhudeva was born, the doctor said "Thoda bachcha hilna band karega toh check karke batate hain".
When Arnab Goswami was Born - Before Doctors could say anything, Arnab Said "C'mon Tell me... How you pulled me. Nation wants to know That".
When Kangana Ranawat was born the doctors said, "Mubalak ho ek totali beautiful girl hui hai".
When Rahul Gandhi was born, Doctor said, " Mubarak ho, aapke sath majaak hua hai".
When Daya was born - Doctors ran away to open all the doors of hospital.
When Tusshar Kapoor was born, the doctor said to Jeetendra......"Maaf kar dijiye. Galti ho gayi.
When Mayavati was born doctor said mubarak ho Hathi hua hain.
When Nargis Fahkri was born doctor said "mubaraq ho Duck ki behen Hui hai.
When Harman Baweja was born doctors said, Hrithik hua hai.
when Sharad Pawar was born,"Mubarak ho scam hua hai! Jaanch jaari hai!".
A person on his death bed
Saturday, 25 January 2014
A person on his death bed
(in Mumbai at a Hospital)
with Wife, Kids and Nurse beside him.
Man to Eldest son : You take the 15 Bungalows at Borivali.
To daughter : You take the 8 bungalows at Juhu.
To youngest son : You are my youngest and most dearest and I want your future to be bright, so you keep the 20 offices at Nariman Point.
To wife : Dear Kavita, you keep all 11 of our Lokhandwala building flats.
Nurse - quite impressed - To wife : wow...You are lucky to have such a husband who is so rich and giving you all the properties etc.
Wife: What properties,
what rich ...he's distributing out responsibilities of delivering
Milk to his clients in the morning.
Doodhwala hai saala..
(in Mumbai at a Hospital)
with Wife, Kids and Nurse beside him.
Man to Eldest son : You take the 15 Bungalows at Borivali.
To daughter : You take the 8 bungalows at Juhu.
To youngest son : You are my youngest and most dearest and I want your future to be bright, so you keep the 20 offices at Nariman Point.
To wife : Dear Kavita, you keep all 11 of our Lokhandwala building flats.
Nurse - quite impressed - To wife : wow...You are lucky to have such a husband who is so rich and giving you all the properties etc.
Wife: What properties,
what rich ...he's distributing out responsibilities of delivering
Milk to his clients in the morning.
Doodhwala hai saala..
WORK PRESSURE...
WORK PRESSURE...
________________________________________
Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys..
_________________________________________
Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants . And as I finished..
I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand..
_________________________________________
Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the weekly status call?"
_________________________________________
I don’t login to facebook, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home… thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize – I am at home.
________________________________________
Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye…in case of any issues will call u back"
_________________________________________
Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it’s in the recycle bin!
_________________________________________
Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab. pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg….. I replied 256mb….thank god he didn’t notice.
________________________________________
And I – after a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen…
So avoid working so hard ! Have a great work-life balance..
________________________________________
Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys..
_________________________________________
Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants . And as I finished..
I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand..
_________________________________________
Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the weekly status call?"
_________________________________________
I don’t login to facebook, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home… thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize – I am at home.
________________________________________
Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye…in case of any issues will call u back"
_________________________________________
Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it’s in the recycle bin!
_________________________________________
Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab. pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg….. I replied 256mb….thank god he didn’t notice.
________________________________________
And I – after a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen…
So avoid working so hard ! Have a great work-life balance..
Whatsapp per 3-4 groups ka admin Hun
Ladki wale(ladke se): beta kya kerte ho...?
Ladka: jee admin department mein Hun....
Ladki wale (khush hokar): kaun si company mein beta...
Ladka: whatsapp per 3-4 groups ka admin Hun....
Dedicated to all the admins
Bin pagari full adhikari
Ladka: jee admin department mein Hun....
Ladki wale (khush hokar): kaun si company mein beta...
Ladka: whatsapp per 3-4 groups ka admin Hun....
Dedicated to all the admins
Bin pagari full adhikari
Whatsapp Puzzles - Guess the watch brand
Sunday, 19 January 2014
Here are the answers for "Whatsapp Puzzles - Guess the watch brand"
(Try at least once before you see them);
Answer:
1. RADO 2. OMEGA 3. Choppard 4. CASIO 5. LONGINES 6. ROLEX 7. DIOR 8. HUBLOT 9. TAG HEUER 10. SWATCH 11. MONTBLANC 12. CORUM 13. ULYSSE NARDIN
Qabristaan Ke Baahar Likha Tha:
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
Qabristaan Ke Baahar Likha Tha: . "Manzil To Teri Yahi Thi, Bas Zindgi Guzar Gayi Aate Aate, Kya Mila Tujhe Is Duniya Se, Apno Ne Hi Dafna Diya Tujhe Jaate Jaate." "Aaj Amal hai, Hisaab nahi. Kal Hisaab hoga, Amal nahi..!" Most beautiful lines by a poet on his death : bina libaas ke aaye they iss jahaan mein...... Bas ek kafan ki khatir, itna safar karna pada !.......
And this is how he won Mercedes
Sunday, 15 December 2013
1 Saasu maa Apne 3 Damado ka pyar dekhne ke liye dariya me kud gayi 1st damad ne bacha liya... . . Saas ne use Car di😀 2nd day fir kudi. 2nd damad ne bachaya, to bike mili.😀 3rd day fir kudi . . . 3rd damad ne socha"Cycle hi reh gayi hai, kya fayda"Aur saas doob gayi.😛 Agle din us damad ko Mercedes mili.. Kaise...??? Sasur ne di...😆.
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