Husband:"Hamari 10th Aniverasry par Me Tumhe ANDAMAN NIKOBAR ISLAND Le Jaaunga

Monday, 10 March 2014

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Husband:"Hamari 10th Aniverasry par Me Tumhe.
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ANDAMAN NIKOBAR ISLAND Le Jaaunga .
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Wife:"Wow.
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Aur 25th Aniversary Par.
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Husband:"Tumhe Wapas Lene Aaunga.
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Ek baar ek hi colege ke kuch professors & principle ek saath aeroplane me baithe the , .
tabhi ek announcement hoti hai, ye plane aapke hi collage ke students ne banaya hai .
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sabhi professor plane se bhaag jate he mgr.
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Principle nhi bhaagta? sabhi log bolte he aapko darr nhi lagata? .
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principle-muze mere students par pura bharosa hai Plane start hi nhi hoga.
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Boy- Aaj accident hua,uff Marte- Marte bacha hu.
Dad- Tumhari hi galti hogi.
Maa- Beta thik to ho na? Sis- Bhai kahi chot to nahi aayi? Bro- Yaar dhayanse chalaya kar.
Lover- Tumhe mera Jara bhi khayal nahi.
& Frnd- ? ? Ohh shit yaar.
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TEHRVI ke Laddu Milte-Milte reh gaye.
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Moral-Dost hote hi kamine hai

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Girl: Is Dress Ka Kya Price Hai ? .
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 Kiss ;* .
Girl: Aur us dress ka? .
Shopkeepr: Sirf 10 Kiss ;-> .
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Girl: Dono Dress Pack Kar Do, BiLL papa Degi.
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Na back ki parwah, Na concept koi clear hain.
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Na job ki tension, na future ka fear hain.
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Table par books ki jagah kingfisher ki beer hain.
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C ya Java nahi chatting apna career hain.
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Yahan koi Einstien nahi, Yahan sab Shakespeare hain, Late night study ki jagah movies ke premier hain, Phir bhi yaaro hum future ke Engineer Hain

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Interviewer: Let me check ur english, tell me d opposite of good.
? Banta: Bad.
Interviewer: Come Banta: Go.
Interviewer: Ugly? Banta: Pichhlli.
Interviewer: PICHLLI Banta: UGLY.
Interviewer: Shut Up.
Banta: Keep talking.
Interviewer: Ok, now stop all dis Banta: Ok, now carry on all dis.
Interviewer: Abey, chup ho ja.
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chup ho ja.
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chup ho jaa.
Banta: Abey bolta ja.
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bolta ja.
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bolta ja.
Interviewer: Arey, yaar.
Banta: Arey dushman.
Interviewer: Get Out Banta: Come In.
Interviewer: Oh my God.
Banta: Oh, my devil.
Interviewer: shhhhhhh banta: Hurrrrrrrrrrrrr rr Interviewer: mere bap chup hoja banta: mere bete bolta reh Interviewer: U are rejected Banta: I m selected.
Oye Bolo ta ra ra ra ra hayo rabba!!

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Boy: I want 2 kiss u.
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Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
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Boy: Allah tala ke fazalo karam sekhuda ka ye nek banda mohtarma ko arzu-e- fitrat se be- inteha chumna chahta hai.
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Girl Shock- Boys Rocks.
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Wife asked her husband to describe her.
Husband said, "you're A B C D EF G H I J K".
Wife asked, "what does that mean.
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?? The husband said," Adorable Beautiful Cute Delightful Elegant Fairly Gorgeous and Hot" She said, "oh, that's so lovely, what about I J K.
? He said, "I'm Just Kidding".
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Garmi se bachne ka aasan tarika

Sunday, 9 March 2014

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Garmi se bachne ka aasan tarika . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Agar pata lag jaye to muje b batana Maa kasam bahot garmi lag rahi hai

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Wife called hubby in office .. Wife - window is not opening .. What shall I do ? Hubby - Put some hot water n wait for while. It will open ... Wife (lil unconvinced)- r u sure ? Hubby - ya trust me it will do the magic.. Try it .. (After a while hubby calls back to check) ... Did u do as I told u ! Did it do the needfull trick ? Wife - I don't kno about the trick or magic but NOW entire laptop is not starting

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A very very TRIPLE meaning Example of . . . . " HAR 1 FRIEND KAMINA HOTA HAI " Ladka dost se : yaar maine apni Girl Friend ko uski birthday pe apni behan ki new diamond ring chori ker k gift de di, Dost (Thappad maar kar) : kaminey Itni mehngi kharidi thi maine Ladka: saale marta kyun hai tere ghar hi to wapis gayi hai

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apni wife ko apne 100% kamai dene se . . . 10% sukh milta hai . . girl friend ko apni kamai ka . . . 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai . . . paisa apka faisla apka . . . Jago grahak jago.

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GIRLS POEM.. Husband hamara aisa ho.. pocket me jiske paisa ho.. . lambi jiski hight ho.. Gusse ka wo light ho.. Jab saas se meri fight ho, kahe jaanu tum hi RIGHT ho.

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Santa Bank me paise jama karane gaya. Cashier- Tumhare Note nakli hai. Santa- Tujhe kya farak padata hai? Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na.. =))

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Exams Life... 9am:"Wake-up .. 10am:"Breakfast .. 11am:"Thinking 2 score 80% .. 12am:"Watch TV .. 1pm:"Lunch .. 2pm:"Thodi neend le ke padhenge dimag set hoga .. .. 4pm:"Games .. 5pm:"Thinking 2 score 60% .. 6pm:"Troubling friends "kuch padha ?? .. 8pm:"Searching books. .. 9pm:"Dinner .. 10pm:"Lo bhai light gayi.. .. 11pm:"plz bhagwan! Bas pass kara de... .. 12pm:"Aaj to "Bhad Me Jaye Padhai" kal se pakka padhunga..

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1 ladki ki death ke Baad Uski friend uske boyfriend ke pass gayior boli, "Kya main uski jagah le skti hu......??" Superb Answer . . . . . BoyFrnd- "Muje koi Aitraz Nahi QABRISTAN Walo se puch lo

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After Valentines day - . . . GF = Where R u.? BF = I'm At "Bank" . . . GF = I Need 10,000 For New Cell Phone & 5,000 For New Dress. BF = Sorry, I Mean I'm At BL00D BANK. " KHOON PIYEGI KHOON.?"

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Super Funny Jokes Must Read

Saturday, 8 March 2014

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Mobile General Mode Pe Hona Chahiye.
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Silent Mode Pe To Apna "PM" Bhi Hai.
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Height of shakkk ! HusBand: Mein tumhare sath 1000 saal rahunga or dher sara pyaar karunga.
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Biwi: Uske baaad kahan muh maarne ka iraada hai?

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Boy 1:" tune us ladki ke liye Cigarette chhor di.
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Boy 2:" haan Boy 1:" daru bhi chhor diya.
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?? Boy 2:" haan! .
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Boy 1:" Jua bhi chhor diya.
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??? .
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Boy 2:" haan!! Boy 1:" abey to shaadi kyu nahi ki usse ???? .
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Boy 2:" yaar itna sudhar gya tha k usse achhi mil gyi aur usey chhor diya.
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MUSAFIR: Beta Aap Mujhe Thoda Sa Pani Pila Denge ?? Pappu: Agar Lassi Ho Jaye To.
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MUSAFIR: Tab To Bahut Hi Acha Hoga.
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Pappu:- lassi le aaya.
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Musafir Ne 5 Lote Lassi Peeney Ke Baad Pappu Se Pucha:- Kya Tumhare Ghar Me Koi Lassi Nai Peeta ?? .
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Pappu: Peetey To Sub Hain, Lekin Aaj Lassi Me CHUHA Gir Gaya Tha.
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aur usi me mar gya tha.
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Musafir Ne gusse me Lota Zamin Par De Mara .
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Pappu Rote Hue Bola:- "Mummy Inhone Lota Tod Diya.
Ab Hum TOILET mein kya lekar jayenge.
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How BEDROOM Smells After MARRIAGE: 1st 3 years:-- Perfumes, Flowers, Chocolate, Strawberry, Grapes.
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After 3 YRS:-- Baby Powder, Johnsons Cream & Lotions, Baby oils · · After 15YRS:-- Zandu Balm, Vicks, Iodex, Relispray….
· · After 40 YRS:-- Agarbatti.
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agree ????? then press like

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English Quiz Contest by his Terrific Reply.
Q: "What is the Opposite of 'BARCELONA'? .
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FEKU: 'ANDAR SE DO NA'!.
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A Father Took His Son To A Village To Teach About Poverty.
After The Trip He Asked His Son About The Poor.
Son Replied: We’ve 1 Dog, Villagers Had 4 We’ve Small Pool, They’ve Long River We’ve Lamps, They’ve Stars We’ve Small Piece Of Land, They’ve Large Fields We’ve Servants 2 Serve Us, They Serve Others We Buy Food, They Grow Their Food We’ve House To Protect Us, They’ve Friends The Boy’s Father Was Speechless.
Then His Son Said: “Thanks For Showing How Poor We Are.
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Amazing Jokes of the Day

Friday, 7 March 2014

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Sir :- Birbal Kaun Tha.
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?? Student :-"Pata Nahi Sir"Sir :- "Padhaai Par Dhyaan Doge ToNa Pata Chale".
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Student :-"Sir Pramod, Vicky, Gaurav Kaun Hai.
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Sir :-"Mujhe Kya Pata.
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Student :-"Beti Par Dhyaan Do To Pata Chale ?? Master Shocks Student Rock.


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Main bahut roya jab muje pata chala ki main 2 subject me fail ho gya .
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Par .
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Main bahut hsa jab muje pata chala ki mera dost 4 subject me fail ho gya.
Dukh me hamesha dost hi to kaam aata hai.


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Husband: Tere baap ki jale per namak chhidkne ki adat gai nai .
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wife: kyo kya huwa .
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Husband: aaj phir se puch raha tha, k Meri beti se shadi karke khush to ho na

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Flight me Pilot ne announce kia : 'Hum ek ghante me land karne wale hain.
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Fir wo mic band karna bhool gaya aur co-pilot se bola : 'Ab to bas ek garam chai piyunga, fir Air Hostess ki Pappi lunga.
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Air Hostess ye sun kar mic band karwane ke liye bhaagi, aur 1 bachche k pair me fas kar gir gayi.
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Bachcha bola : 'Tujhe badi jaldi hai Kamini.
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suna nahi ? Woh pehle chai piyega.
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!!!

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Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya.
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Ladki pasand aane par ladke ne ladki se kaha "tum toh mujhe pasand ho.
par kya tumhare baap ki hesiyat hai mujhe car dene ki? .
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Iss par ladki ne solid jawab diya- .
Ladki : -"mere baap ki hesiyat toh aeroplane dene ki hai.
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Par kya tere baap ki hesiyat hai Airport banane ki? dowry is crime

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2 Kism Ki Ladkiyon Ke Peeche Na Bhago.
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1 - Jis Ke Peeche Main Hoon Kyunki Wo Tumse Set Nahin Hogi.
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2 - Jis Ke Peeche Main Nahin hoon Kyunki Jo Mujhse Set Nahin Hui.
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Wo Tum Se Kya GHANTA Hogi

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Girl.
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Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.
I am in India and he lives in UK.
We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, proposed to each other on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship thru viber.
I need ur blessing and good wishes daddy.
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Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun online.
Buy ur kids on e-bay, send them thru g-mail and if u r fed up with your husband.
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Sell him on OLX.
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Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya, usne English mein baat karne ki sochi aur bola

Thursday, 6 March 2014

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Ek ladka, ladki dekhne gaya, usne English mein baat karne ki sochi aur bola: English chalegi na? .
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Ladki sharmate hue: soda,namkeen aur leg piece sath me ho to DESI bhi chalegi.
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If you are a girl named Khushi and you cry, people won't take it seriously as that would be 'Khushi ke aansoo' #

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If Sridevi is running a shop, I wonder whether she would say "Abhi Boney ka time hai.
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I love it when my Sony smartphone hangs and gives me Problems.
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Because, Sony de Nakhre sohne lagde menu.


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Cricket team k jab sab player out ho jate h toh sab machaar bhaag jate hain Sochoo KYUKI team "allout" hain naa.


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now Don't kill me for this joke.
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One day Om came late to office.
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All started shouting.
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Omlette aaya.
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Ekbaar bhagwan ne aadmi ki Memory clear kar dali.
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!! Aur poocha, kuch yaad aa raha hai kya? Aadmi- sirf GF ka naam.
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!! bhagwan hasa aur bola.
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Format kiya par virus nahi gaya.
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!!

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Hostel student to his frnd:- "yaar dhoka ho gya Dhoka" .
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Frnd:- kya ho gaya.
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Student:- "yar ghar se books k liye paise mangwaye the, .
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gharwalo ne books he bhej di.
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Phone Baja… Husband: Agar Phone mere liye ho to kehna main ghar pe nahi hu.
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Wife: Woh ghar pe hain.
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Husband: Mene mana kiya tha na, mana kar dena.
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Wife: Phone aapka nahi mera tha…:p Samajh me aa gya ho to Like karo

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