Girlfriend :Last night I had a dream of you.

Girlfriend :”Last night I had a dream of you.”
.
.
Boyfriend (got excited):”Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke”
.
.
Girlfriend replied :”We were traveling in bus,
Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
.
.
Everyone swam to save their life,
but you were still swimming and
searching for someone.”
.
.
Boyfriend (with luv):”I was searching for you, na?
.
.
Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting,
.
.
“Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the”
___________________________________________________________

CHOCOLET....
Insano se Bhi zyada SWEET hote hai

Lakin kuch insaan CHOCOLET se Bhi zyada SWEET hote hai

jaise "AAP"
.

.

MUJHE HI DEKH LO.

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Mandir k pujari ko loose motion ho gaya..
medicine lete samay pujari ne dctr ko poocha "ANY PRECAUTIONS?"
Doctor said,
"SHANKH zor se mat bajaana"

___________________________________________________________

Admi ko entertaining hona chiye pakata to oven b h...

Insan ko baat karne se pehle HELLO karna Chaiye SALAM NAMASTE tho SAIF ALI KHAN bhi karta hai
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Tanaav Door Karne Ke Liye Yoga:...
Table Par Whisky Ki Bottle, Namkin Aur Glass Rakhe..
Chair Par Baithe, Whisky Ko Glass Me Dale, Halke Se Sip Le..
Namkin Khaye, Phir Sip Le..
Is Kriya Ko 7 Baar Dohraye..
Sar Piche Jhukaye, Dono Hath Sar Ke Peche Rakhe,
Aankhe Dhire Se Band Karte Huye Bole-
"Bhaad main jaaye Duniya.."

___________________________________________________________

Wife comes home late at night
and
quietly opens the door to her
Bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees
four
legs instead of two.
She reaches for a Baseball Bat and
starts hitting the blanket as hard
as
she can.
Once she's done,she goes to the
kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her
husband
there, reading a magazine.
Husband says : "Hi Darling, Your
parents have come to visit us, so
let
them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you said Hello to them.."

___________________________________________________________

Dhondu failed in Exam & decided to make a deal with professor.

Dhondu :Sir, Can I ask u one que?

Prof: Yes.

Dhondu: If u can answer dis question, i will accept my final marks, if u cant, u have to give me "A".

Professor agreed.
.
.
.
Dhondu asked: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"

Prof thought about it for hrs & pondered no answer.

He had to finally give up as he really didnot know.
He gave the boy his "A".

The following day, professor asked same question to his students.

He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.

He asked one student.

He answered:
Sir, u are 65, married to 28 yrs old woman, dis is legal but not logical.

Ur wife, is having an affair with a 23 yearold boy, dis is logical but not legal.

Ur wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam &yet u have given him an "A", dis is neither logical nor legal.
.
.
Student madhosh,Professor behosh :D:D

___________________________________________________________

Santa Banta Jokes -

Ek gaon me bijli ane wali thi..

waha ke sabhi log khush the..

bijli ane ki khushi se log jhum jhum ke nach rahe the.

wahi ek kutta bhi jhum-2 ke nach raha the..

gaon ke ek admi ne kute se puchha - are bhai tu kyo nach raha hai?

kutta bola - bijli ayegi to khambe bhi to lagenge..
___________________________________________________________

Captain to DADA jaisa hona chahiye..

MS to OFFICE bhi hai....

___________________________________________________________

Logon k pass dil hona chaiye..... Cena to John k pass bhi he.....

Ladki padi lekhe hone chaiye.... Apsara to pencil bhi he...

Marriages love hone chaiye..... Fixed to IPL bhi he.

Ladko me tamiz honi chiye battamiz to ranbir ka dil b hai....
___________________________________________________________

Kanjibhai was travelling to Bombay to take up a new job.

Rupaben was also travelling in the same compartment except that they didn't know each other in the beginning.

Once they started talking, they realized they both had a lot in common.

a.. Both were Single.
b.. Both were Gujaratis.
c.. Both were going to Bombay .
d.. Both were teachers.
e.. Both were starting new jobs at Mithibai College ...
They seemed to hit it off well and decided to be roommates in Bombay and made a pact that they would do everything together..

So they lived in the same house, travelled to the college together on Kanjibhai's scooter, had lunch in the staff room together, returned home together.

They were watching the TV together, eating dinner together and were also sharing the same bedroom and...

EVEN sharing the same bed.

The only problem was Rupaben placing a pillow between them at bedtime, much to the frustration of Kanjibhai, who ended up spending many sleepless nights with this most desirable beauty besides him, separated by the pillow.

Kanjibhai's frustration built up to such an extent that he could take it no more and ended up deciding to drink.

So one day he took off from the college leaving Rupaben on her own.

She was quite upset, but made it home by auto rikshaw.

The pact had been broken so she decided not to open the door for Kanjibhai when he got home drunk at about 2 AM.

Kanjibhai knocked on the door for about 20 minutes and pleaded with his roommate to let him in.

After listening to his crap for 20 minutes, Rupaben said, ' Where the hell did you disappear today? We decided to do everything together! Now on you will sleep outside'.

Kanjibhai said, 'I will jump over the wall and come in if you don't open the door right now!'

Rupaben replied, Scroll Down for Punch Line

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Have...reva de! Reva de! Chaar mahina thaya...
Tu to Pillow ni upar thi jump na kari sakyo...to deewal upar thi su jump Karva no!!

___________________________________________________________