A man who is a manager in 5 star hotel calls his wife

A man who is a manager in 5 star hotel calls his wife
Husband : Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai?
Wife : Steamed fine long grain white rice hand-picked in the emerald green lap of the Vindhyas, accompanied by a golden lentil soup that was gently simmered over the smouldering kisses of angels.
Husband : matlab??
Wife : dal chaval
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Job at the FBI :
The FBI had an opening for an assassin & after all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; 2 men and 1 woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.. . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun & went into the room. All was Quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You dont have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
Now, it was the woman's turn, She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the Gun & went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with fake bullets ' she said. 'I had to Beat him to death with the chair...

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Phone rings at night
Husband: "If its 4 me, then say m not @ home"
Wife : "He is at home"
Husband in anger: "What the HELL?"
Wife: "SHUT UP. IT WAS FOR ME"
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Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :

"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed..."
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